Evan Myquest

Thursday, December 01, 2016

La Mia Arcana

john goodman, back in front of a computer shouts, Donny!
my arcane seven: to not be fooled by the great turkey who puts a mechanical mouse into the room full of cats. oh look, a feather on a stick. oh look, the finger is the moon. oh look, we have lost focus on our dear old mama. but we take so much pride in our knowledge of mars and sundry planetary backsides. the turkey gobbles on and on and the cats leap with claws out at the mechanical wildemaus ignoring the fattest target of their lives. meanwhile construction crews arrive with mortar and bricks for the cats' windows and doors. and the fattest turkey opens the house to a parade of even fatter turkeys. they set about unfolding and then recoloring old maps. mech maus vendors take to street corners, billig! they shout. billige grenzsicherheit! cheap border security für alles! then, as seen on tv, come the mechanical cats. it isn't long before even the sheep are electric. dreaming, lost...in marseillaise dreams.

the dipstick is still coming out half melted--
my arcane 6: new rules of disengagement by the Sorcerer's Apprentice.
they put up a wall, we paint welcome to New Sodom on it. they require registration, we all sign it Legion. they privatize medicare, we send our stool smears to The Dumpster--c/o White House. they require a morning pledge of allegiance, we say 'under Moloch' to our orange juice. they take away our safety pins, we go Kubrick with white shirts, eyeliner, and bowler hats. they come for the undocumented, we give them boxcars of golf pros. they come for our poetry, we give them Nantucket Wheeling limericks that rhyme with low bottom size the ump. oh, must quit, the source her 'er is up through the floor and I'm on a list.

my arcane 5: priests in tubes. when the priests leave their adobes behind to become accountants it is safe to exit the shelter, but the way to heaven is still closed. the numbers, the vast numbers, beget large counting machines and the acreage under their counting houses multiplies. yet startling satellite telescope photographs reveal violet draperies of star systems and no priest counts those vestments as his true cloak. as sand becomes glass and gravel becomes concrete, the architects become sculptors of the folded hands while the priests count everything but their beads and their palm fronds and their mounds of ash. but if those priests find a movie house of old technicolor visions, the shotguns emerge, and the sugo rosso simmers again. the google buses drive empty for the day as old cars explode. baptism by brick and by mortar counts, for the moment.

my arcane 4: scabrous boiler room baboon of a false microsoft chatbot, i have not the capacity to despise you any longer. i have despots in my garden these days. i have people watching and listening to me from infinite vantage should i fail to dot my articles and cross my amendments. yes, i am fully aware of the malware on my computer, my corporatist government put it there for my own good. suppose we duel at dawn on my next Bang & Mum stopovers. i will yelp your probiotic software in all the temples and alleys and mahals. forgive me if this is a wrong number but are you near your computer just now? please type this alphanumeric string on your command line...1-800-donald.

my arcane 3: dig out, then dig in.

my arcane 2: on drama. it is said fiction is life with the boring parts cut out. now the nightmare of living in interesting times has roiled the plot lines into vining tentacles. the mind is twined like a rolled loin. the point of a progressive nature is obscured. positive feelings are devalued. understanding voices lose credit. worldviews false and more false come in waves.

My arcane 1: Those of you who have been parading Debbie's head on a stick are drawing flies. Dark clouds of flies. In fact, you have become the lords of those flies.

Monday, August 18, 2014

In the Shorts

The Double Jeopard Leopard
(for Noah)

you won't find
the double jeopard leopard
in the same spots twice
when he's found them
he tiptoes round them
ever so carefully & awarefully quiet
walks between them
avoiding the ones not dry yet

The Elevator Gator

The elevator gator
Lives on the tenth floor of that condo tree in the swamp
No one knew what he was doing
When on his balcony barbequeing
He fell off and landed with a mushy squishy whomp!
With amazing luck
He hit that muck
But forever after
He suffered the laughter
Of creatures who'd snicker and drooly bubbly sneeze
At his new folded up gator knees

We're taking Grandma on a Trip

We're taking Grandma on a trip
We'll proceed at a scenery chewing clip
She might be old and sluggage
But she's going to like this if it kills her
She might be human luggage
But in the back if the bouncing kills her
A mirror at her lips will suffice
To tell us if we need a bigger cooler and a LOT more ice

Tripping Over Poe, Edgar A.

It must have been the laudanum
Because here we are, still applaudin' 'im

In the Meadow

In the meadow the loudest was Billy the Cricket
If fair lady showed faint heart Billy would nick it
He'd rub up the longest song and never tire
Why on one hot day at a super cricket speed
Wouldn't you know, he set his own ass on fire

Vacation Visit to Far Off Relatives

with very shirt-tail foreign linkage
the best hospitality is
champagne glass clinkage

I'm not Opposin'

I'm not opposin'
The Slothy little Mr. Possum
But I am supposin'
It's not polite to pick'im up and toss'im

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Nemesis & Babies in Flowers



my shadow tried to kill me today
on waking i flicked on the light
there it was

early bird assassin
poised to strike
reaching for my hand
i had noticed the night before
that it had conspired with a double
and an army more
as i walked between lampposts
and car beams
not sure which of them follows me today
i am taking no chances
walking in alleys dark
skulking in duggeries dank
thwarting each attempt by drowning it in blackness
i am now relieved of three wallets
four creditcards
two pictures of my grandson

and forty three dollars and fifty cents
how my shadow knew i would be in those places
and how it negotiated its accomplices
is beyond me

famous calendar babies in flowers

aw the babies in the giant flowers
big eyes smooth skin living in plantly bowers
big bugs come and bite them to bits
scant time before the pesticide hits
the garden greenery with a nozzlish spray
that makes the babies cough choke and run away
one thinks at some point these actor kiddios
must find easier livings in commercial videos
but first they must grow some hair and brows
in order to compete with californias happy cows

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

That Shel Silverstein Book

Readin' That Shel Silverstein Book

I don't regret the hour I took
Readin' a Shel Silverstein book
I kept sayin' I have the time
Just one more rhyme

I don't regret the hour I took
Givin' that next page a look
All fun and mentally sound
You turn the page--wow! More poems found

I don't regret the hour I took
Had to put off dinner and cook
But as the pages turned
Oh no, my pizza burned!

I don't regret the hour I took
Stealin' time like a crook
I know I could've been at the zoo
Or better yet, with you

I don't regret the hour I took
Hiding in every cranny and nook
Did I hear a telephone ring
Nope, not a bell or whoopy fire engine thing

I don't regret the hour I took
Hey, he had me on the hook
It had all kinds of funny animals and such
Now how could I ever regret it much

No, I don't regret the hour I took
Readin' that Shel Silverstein book

Saturday, January 25, 2014

a good high border


the wind--the stinking stinging wind
that brings the rot to our nostrils.
the valley over has had war for ages.
their sextons cannot keep up.
a burial contingent is being formed to stay
the spread of disease from our valley.
we've been thankful that the war
remained there--that one side or the
other could not win long enough to
look for new regions to conquer.

we have chosen neutrality in the contest.
so it is a hard thing to watch as many
of us have relatives in that valley. we
excuse them to go fight but they are not
allowed to return with so much blood
on them. the same as we take in refugees.
we take them in but are not so friendly.
we do not profiteer. no horses. no guns
sold across the divide. that's just right
to us. yes, we did build a high wall. we

are not proud of it.

their music that floated to us was so sad.
it came in on rains, plinking drops of
abject grief. parents, siblings of war dead.
generals' last thoughts before going to
sleep. some of us went mad from the
sounds. or more probably the years of it
stacked on end.

should word of peace come we will all be
suspicious. it is our nature. those people
are tricky in their war tactics. I suppose
that would be a thing to be verified--yet
who to send? a celebration of truce would
be nice. very nice. many animals from the
smoking sheds would be taken down.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Preparations for the Necessary

Preparations for the Necessary

(for my cousin and those of us who most certainly never saw this resolution coming)

no matter how necessary
no matter how dire the situation
no matter how long past the time
no matter how hard you worked to put it off
no matter how many thousands of miles you've driven
no matter how many times it is brought up

to silence

when the argument
with mom and dad
for giving up the family home
and going to an assisted care facility
gets heated

and you know it will

make sure
you have hidden the gun