In the Shorts

The Double Jeopard Leopard
(for Noah)

you won't find
the double jeopard leopard
in the same spots twice
when he's found them
he tiptoes round them
ever so carefully & awarefully quiet
walks between them
avoiding the ones not dry yet


The Elevator Gator

The elevator gator
Lives on the tenth floor of that condo tree in the swamp
No one knew what he was doing
When on his balcony barbequeing
He fell off and landed with a mushy squishy whomp!
With amazing luck
He hit that muck
But forever after
He suffered the laughter
Of creatures who'd snicker and drooly bubbly sneeze
At his new folded up gator knees



We're taking Grandma on a Trip

We're taking Grandma on a trip
We'll proceed at a scenery chewing clip
She might be old and sluggage
But she's going to like this if it kills her
She might be human luggage
But in the back if the bouncing kills her
A mirror at her lips will suffice
To tell us if we need a bigger cooler and a LOT more ice



Tripping Over Poe, Edgar A.

It must have been the laudanum
Because here we are, still applaudin' 'im



In the Meadow


In the meadow the loudest was Billy the Cricket
If fair lady showed faint heart Billy would nick it
He'd rub up the longest song and never tire
Why on one hot day at a super cricket speed
Wouldn't you know, he set his own ass on fire


Vacation Visit to Far Off Relatives


with very shirt-tail foreign linkage
the best hospitality is
champagne glass clinkage


I'm not Opposin'


I'm not opposin'
The Slothy little Mr. Possum
But I am supposin'
It's not polite to pick'im up and toss'im

Android tablet works/sketches by Evan

Nemesis & Babies in Flowers

 

Nemesis

my shadow tried to kill me today
on waking i flicked on the light
there it was

early bird assassin
poised to strike
reaching for my hand
 
i had noticed the night before
that it had conspired with a double
and an army more
as i walked between lampposts
and car beams
 
not sure which of them follows me today
i am taking no chances
walking in alleys dark
skulking in duggeries dank
thwarting each attempt by drowning it in blackness
i am now relieved of three wallets
four creditcards
two pictures of my grandson

and forty three dollars and fifty cents
 
how my shadow knew i would be in those places
and how it negotiated its accomplices
is beyond me

famous calendar babies in flowers

aw the babies in the giant flowers

big eyes smooth skin living in plantly bowers

big bugs come and bite them to bits

scant time before the pesticide hits

the garden greenery with a nozzlish spray

that makes the babies cough choke and run away

one thinks at some point these actor kiddios

must find easier livings in commercial videos

but first they must grow some hair and brows

in order to compete with californias happy cows

That Shel Silverstein Book

Readin' That Shel Silverstein Book


I don't regret the hour I took
Readin' a Shel Silverstein book
I kept sayin' I have the time
Just one more rhyme

I don't regret the hour I took
Givin' that next page a look
All fun and mentally sound
You turn the page--wow! More poems found

I don't regret the hour I took
Had to put off dinner and cook
But as the pages turned
Oh no, my pizza burned!

I don't regret the hour I took
Stealin' time like a crook
I know I could've been at the zoo
Or better yet, with you

I don't regret the hour I took
Hiding in every cranny and nook
Did I hear a telephone ring
Nope, not a bell or whoopy fire engine thing

I don't regret the hour I took
Hey, he had me on the hook
It had all kinds of funny animals and such
Now how could I ever regret it much

No, I don't regret the hour I took
Readin' that Shel Silverstein book

a good high border

borderland


the wind--the stinking stinging wind
that brings the rot to our nostrils.
the valley over has had war for ages.
their sextons cannot keep up.
a burial contingent is being formed to stay
the spread of disease from our valley.
we've been thankful that the war
remained there--that one side or the
other could not win long enough to
look for new regions to conquer.

we have chosen neutrality in the contest.
so it is a hard thing to watch as many
of us have relatives in that valley. we
excuse them to go fight but they are not
allowed to return with so much blood
on them. the same as we take in refugees.
we take them in but are not so friendly.
we do not profiteer. no horses. no guns
sold across the divide. that's just right
to us. yes, we did build a high wall. we
are not proud of it.

their music that floated to us was so sad.
it came in on rains, plinking drops of
abject grief. parents, siblings of war dead.
generals' last thoughts before going to
sleep. some of us went mad from the
sounds. or more probably the years of it
stacked on end.

should word of peace come we will all be
suspicious. it is our nature. those people
are tricky in their war tactics. I suppose
that would be a thing to be verified--yet
who to send? a celebration of truce would
be nice. very nice. many animals from the
smoking sheds would be taken down.

Preparations for the Necessary

Preparations for the Necessary

(for my cousin and those of us who most certainly never saw this resolution coming)


no matter how necessary
no matter how dire the situation
no matter how long past the time
no matter how hard you worked to put it off
no matter how many thousands of miles you've driven
no matter how many times it is brought up

to silence

when the argument
with mom and dad
for giving up the family home
and going to an assisted care facility
gets heated

and you know it will

make sure
first
you have hidden the gun